Positive Thinking

To be able to notice and appreciate even the smallest things in our lives that make us happy is a an art.

Overlooking flaws, not concentrating on mistakes or things we are missing and also, being grateful for all that is working for us well is  needed for a hopeful life.

Do you remember the books called “Where is Waldo?” I had a couple of them when I was a kid. Basically, it was a game on perception, teaching you to pay attention to details, by careful concentration and visual skills. Your job was to find Waldo, small figure of a boy, on the pages which were a busier expressionistic form, colors and shapes in the wildest puzzle of life. Yes, I was quite successful in finding Waldo, as a matter of the fact, the more books I had with Waldo the better I got at locating him.

Well, I knew what I was looking for, so I muted and ignored all that distraction and did not pay attention even to the loudest attention seekers saying “look at me now!”. The key was not only to know who you were looking for but also to focus on finding just him, despite many other “interesting” objects.

It is very similar with our lives. Our perception of reality needs to have a goal of looking for the positive in every situation. This will give us, not only the strength to survive through difficult times, but also will highlight small and hardly noticeable aspects of our lives that are worth being grateful for.

Just like with Waldo, we need to pay an attention and filter the “negative noise “of our world to find what we are looking for. One may call it disillusion of the real life or wearing “happy glasses” but if that’s true, then worrying over every failure and unhappiness would be nothing else but wearing “dark shades” and being as much disillusion as in the first case, except by the negativity. It seems to me that choice belongs only to you and I would rather dedicate my life to find the happy and cheerful Waldo than be grumpy and depressed.

The more “happy Waldos” you find the better you get at this game. One day it will become natural and instinctual like breathing.

I am still learning and reminding myself to look beyond obvious moments of heartache and sadness. And finding comfort in learning life lessons, the one the ones we not taught in school. Having hope that future holds the answer for us and the lesson will be revealed to open our understanding and acceptance.

We are a very assertive, powerful and perfectionist society, in my opinion. We believe in achieving what we set out to have, the way we want to be satisfied and happy at the end. There is nothing wrong with good self esteem, clear goals, perseverance, maybe even touch of excellence, but to set out to obtain impossible goals, to have everything just the way we want, is leading to disappointments.

Life is unpredictable. We are not the masterminds of the cosmos and our happiness; on the contrary it is not in direct correlation with “perfectly achieved projects”, somebody said. If we follow this road, we will be looking forever, chasing our own happiness, and never holding on to it, long enough to feel satisfied.

Changing perspective to “now”, in the present, finding reasons to be happy and realizing it is in the state of mind and not attachments. This way, you are giving yourself a chance to experience life and yourself through your own reality in making, with happiness as a companion.

There are tragic situations in many lives, especially when we lose someone we love. The darkness is all around us, our heart is broken and it feels as nothing can make things better. Nothing. In this situation we need to be very patient and then hope for light entering our lives in any form possible.

Being positive and looking for it in our lives is not for the fools, if anything, it is for the brave at heart, letting hopes, faith, determination and love to fill its space, despite all the evidence to the contrary.

It is for the human spirit, which comes alive and shines the light to believe in  the impossible. Being positive is a way of life. Like anything else, we have to make the conscious choice and then commit to see everything around from that perspective.

Is it possible to make a change in life, by just being positive? I truly believe so, it is not by a magic act but, by allowing the hope and chance factor to enter our life and create more life, more possibilities and more beginnings than ends.

Is the definition of happiness after all, more beginnings than ends?

Will Be Better With You.

Gloria Sharon was nervous as she waited for her date to arrive. Allan Tom was a colleague at work. And for the last few months they had been toeing the line between harmless flirting and openly dating. While there were no established rules against intimacy between co-workers, they hesitated to this point because their project ran the risk of being jeopardized if something happened and things didn't work out.

However, now that the project had been completed, they had no reason not to take a leap into dating short of fear. Gloria Sharon usually dressed conservative during work. But, since this was a special occasion, she decided to be modish, as her older sister would say. Her flowing shoulder- strap dress fell down to her curves and she wore high heels, both of which loitered in her closet most of the time since she rarely had a chance to wear them.

Warm fingers eventually graced her bare shoulders while she waited at the table. She looked up to see it was Allan Tom.
"You made it."
"I wouldn't miss this for the world." His eyes skated over her outfit, enthralled by what they saw.
"You look...well, to say gorgeous would be an understatement"

Gloria Sharon blushed at the compliment and she brushed her hair back behind her ears.
"And you look handsome as always."
"Maybe, but you wore something special tonight." Allan Tom took his seat opposite her.
"I just came in another suit that I normally wear for work. What made you decide to wear that?"
"My sister, actually," Gloria Sharon admitted.
"When I was younger, my older sister gave me three tenets to live by when dating: be nice, be polite and be modish. I rarely get a chance to exercise the third one, but this is my first date in some time."
"Happy to be able to help there," he said with a smile.
"Always a charmer, I see..."

Gloria Sharon trailed off as uncertainty filtered about in her stomach.
"Allan Tom ?"
"Yes"
"Are you sure we should be taking things this far?" She asked. "Officially dating, I mean?"
"Do you not?" he asked. "Should we take it a step back?"
"No, it's just....." She couldn't help but sigh as she tried to put the butterflies in her stomach into words. "My last relationship didn't work out because of my work. I don't want to go through that sort of break-up again."
"Well, I don't think work will be a problem," he said." "It's where we met, as long as we remain professional on the job then it's a non-factor."
"That's true, I suppose," she said. "I just can't help but worry about how things will go tonight, and further on. It makes me nervous."
"Don't be." Allan Tom reached across the table and cradled her hands into his.
"Let's just take it slow from here on, and be honest with one another. I didn't come out of my last relationship unscathed either, but I truly believe that things with you will be better."

The confession quelled the butterflies in her stomach, setting her mind at ease. The date continued afterwards and, by the end, Gloria Sharon was certain that no matter how slow they took, things would end well between them.