Lead us not into temptations

Allan and I failed to make it to Nkhotakhota for a seminar after taking one too many bottles at Kanengo. Allan gained verbal sovereignty. Every word he spat was backed up with a catalogue of explanations. He swore to me liberally using the most haraam words in his linguistic arsenal. He was in this inebriated state of mind when we were stopped at the Salima Police Checkpoint.

 An innocent looking female police officer approached and greeted us. She asked where we were headed to. Before I could answer, Allan was up in arms, ’we are visiting Nkhotakhota, the source of that charcoal over there’ he shouted, pointing at the mountain of bags of charcoal some metres away. ‘That’s been impounded’, the police officer answered smiling. ‘And from here, where does it go?’ ’What’s your problem sir?’ the police officer asked Allan before ordering me to open the boot.

As the police officer walked round the car to inspect the boot, Allan shouted, ‘Careful, my laptop is there, such items get stolen here’. ‘Insinuating that I am a thief?’ the police officer asked before she slammed the boot. She asked us to cross the checkpoint and park the vehicle near the police makeshift office. She followed us majestically and authoritatively.

‘Can I see your driver’s license?’ she asked me before turning to Allan, ‘and you, can I see your work permit?’ ‘Work permit? I left it in Lilongwe’. ‘Do I need to take it with me everywhere I go? Allan wondered. The police officer called her senior, a barrel-chested man, rather too fat for someone employed to hunt down criminals. ‘Fanta’ the word for bribe in Malawi had made the belly to protrude as if he would soon be in a maternity ward. She explained to him that Allan had called the police thieves and also failed to produce a work permit.

‘She is lying under oath’ Allan shouted. ‘Do you realize that I have the power to detain you?’ the senior officer asked Allan before warning him to stop playing games with the Law. Allan momentarily sobered up and apologized. ‘I’II confiscate your license and detain your friend, drive back to Lilongwe and come back with his work permit’, he said as they walked to their office.

I followed them to the office where I apologized for Allan’s unpalatable language. Then I got a short lecture from the senior officer; ‘Tom, lead us not into temptations. Our work is very difficult. We face the same economic hardships as everybody else but we are insulted by everybody every second of everyday’.

He gave me back the license and told me to take Allan back to Lilongwe immediately. As soon as I hit the road, I told Allan that his careless remarks had landed us in deep trouble. ‘I was only joking with her,’ Allan said. ‘All average civil servants are currently frustrated because of security breakdown, soaring commodity prices, delayed promised salary increment, yet our government is busy awarding contracts to ghost companies (probably vehicles to siphon funds from the treasury), amending the constitution to suit their interests, giving ascent to mediocre laws, borrowing loans that will make the nation a debt slave for the next century, appointing cronies and tribesmen whose motto is ‘it is our turn to eat’. Such executive lack of focus is what sinks the poor into a poverty vicious cycle that recurs through generations.